blabetty blabb

it is safe to write anything i want because i think everyone gave up on me. i didn't write for ages and ages and nobody checks to see if i am still breathing.

my job is stressful, but that's life. i am so happy because i have such a great opportunity. i don't care if it is stressful and if it is hard to still make dinner and spend time with my kids. i do it all because i want to. the thing that i don't make time for is housework. i'm not sure i ever made time for it even when i was a stay at home mom.

we just hired a top notch scientist who quit pfizer rather than move to Connecticut. he has to work directly with me, so i'll get to learn from one of the best. i'm not sure i ever expected to feel fulfilled and happy with my life. i guess i feel good at the promise and opportunity i have. there's always a chance i'll do really bad at the job and my kids will grow up to be jerks because they have a work-addicted mom. but i'll dwell on the frightening possibilities when it all starts going south. for now, everything is great, and i'm going to work as hard as i can to learn as much as i can, because i feel like i am really getting old.

anything that is really good is always hard to get. you can't get it if you don't work for it. when i imagine the kind of person i want to be, i am actually moving toward that illusion. i was going backwards for a long time, but now i am finally becoming the kind of person i have always wanted to be. that's pretty sappy to say, but what is a moment of self-reflection for anyway?